Hello, Cutie!

My husband and I have been married for two years and have been together almost ten years. I'm currently in graduate school and have another four years to finish.

However, by the time I finish I'll be 30. If we wait to have kids until then, that only gives us five years to have all of our children (since a woman's risk of passing along genetic abnormalities increases significantly after that point).

Currently, we feel that timeline is too pressured and we'd rather space our children out. What do you think, Cutie? Should we think about having children sooner (before I finish my doctorate) or wait and have all of our children spaced very close together?

signed,
Mama To Be

Dear Mama,

Children are a sacrifice of your time. If it were me, and I were your age, I would have the children before getting my degree. However, I understand that it is very difficult to complete that type of program.

It might help to consider the support you have in your life. This is a conversation with your husband. If you choose to have children before you finish your program, is he ready to step up and assume the extra responsibility? Communication and understanding are necessary if this is going to work. 

Also, anything can happen. It may take a little longer to complete your program. You might change your mind and decide to do something else. But it does not sound like you will change your mind about children. Start off by having one and the rest of your life will fall into place. 

You will love being a mother! I just know it!

Good luck to you. 

Love,
Cutie